I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I believe in your delicious
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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