either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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