I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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