so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
