It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
