Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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