i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
