i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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