from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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