i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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