Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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