You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
