If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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