Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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