I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
