nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
