Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
