i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
