I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
