On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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