I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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