You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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