So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
