And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
