Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We're too hungover to prance.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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