Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
