Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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