considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
