Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
