My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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