I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When did angry sex become our thing?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
