Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's just like the Real World with babies
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
