ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
