is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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