So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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