I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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