and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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