Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
