u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
