careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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