Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
