i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
