Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My vagina is officially offended.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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