Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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