he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There's always time for handjobs
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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