I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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