maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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