just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
