Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
