it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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