Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
