It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
