I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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