Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
