so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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