So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
my liver is dry heaving
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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