so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
