Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
