Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
