cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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